I gave a little peek into my closet today by doing a video on modest fashion ideas for the fall/winter seasons. Going through my closet and really seeing how much it has transformed was so reflective for me of the work that The Most High has done in my heart the past couple of years. It is no secret that Abba has been very patient with me and gracious in how much conviction He has placed on my heart at once. I would have never imagined walking down those runways at fashion week years ago (drenched in expensive apparel and half naked), that I would be chatting with you now about modesty. How amazing is the God we serve? If I had known then how much peace and joy would come along with honoring the Lord in this way, I would have done it a long time ago. The world has this way of tricking us into believing that we are happy. Everyone would look at my life back then with envy; wishing they could be in my painful stiletto shoes. The truth is that I was broken. The truth is that I was lost in deception and unfilled by everything the world told me I needed. So, my modesty journey goes a little something like this... Year 1 - Getting back into digging into the scriptures... woah okay... God commands modesty... I'm not doing that. I think I can do that. Kinda sorta get it... I'm trying. Year 2- Ohhhhh... this is a heart thing. That explains a lot. Am I loving myself or others more? Am I honoring Abba when I wear this? Am I loving others by wearing this? These were totally new questions for me. Am I pointing to self? I have lots of work to do. Year 3- Working on deliverance... meekness... simplicity. There's so much more to this then covering my boobs. Discovered headcovering during a fast... this changes everything. Do I want to be set apart as a daughter of the King or blend in as a child of the world? This is so much more... this is identity. What I have realized modesty is not: 1. It's not Weird. It may be strange to the world, but we are called to be a peculiar set apart people. 2. It's not religious. It's an outward reflection of the inward heart. 3. It's not just about clothing. It's a worship, behavior, attitude, and an attribute of love. 4. It's not about oppression, suppression, or repression. It's about freedom. Freedom from the lies of the world. It's a journey and we are all in different places and stages in our faith walk. We are called to encourage one another to walk more closely with Abba Father in word, deed, and intent. We keep Yahweh's commandments because we LOVE him. This is truly an act of love, and as we fall more in love with Him and less in love with the world our outward appearance will reflect that more and more. If you haven't checked out the video from today check out the link below. Yah bless you guys. I love you so much. Romans 8:15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
Today, many people are celebrating fathers day and it has me thinking about Abba's heart. Some of us grew up with God fearing fathers, loving fathers, protective fathers, adoptive fathers, spiritual fathers, stand in fathers, or hard working fathers. Some of us grew up with abusive fathers, apathetic fathers, missing fathers, or Godless fathers. Regardless of how we perceived our fathers growing up, they all have something in common, they are imperfect humans who have fallen short of the glory of Yah and are in need of His grace. It seems that many of us unknowingly relate the heavenly Father to our experience with our earthly father. I would encourage us all today to choose to forgive our earthly fathers of any and all short comings and hurts and surrender them to the Most High. Prayer Abba, we now surrender any and all bitterness and unforgiveness to You. We repent of holding onto these things or allowing them to interfere with our relationship with you. Repair what has been broken in me Father. We thank you and we praise you for the healing you are doing now. In Yeshua's mighty name. I was reflecting back today on so many times in my life when I must have broke my earthly fathers heart, and then it hit me, how much more must my sin and rebellion hurt my Abba in heaven? And if my earthly father is so quick to love me despite my failings, how much more does my perfect Abba in heaven love His daughter? Prayer Elohim, I ask your forgiveness for any time that I have rejected you, betrayed you, rebelled against you, and broken your heart. I thank you and I praise you for your forgiveness and grace through the blood of your son Yeshua that it covers all my sins and failings. Abba, I ask your forgiveness for anytime I dishonored the authority of the man in the father role in my life , all rebellion towards him, lying, disrespect, unloving behavior, and pride. Abba, give me a heart of obedience and forgiveness. We praise you Father because you are worthy of our praise. In Yeshua's name. Amen. I will never forget the night that I went to my 7th grade dance at school. None of the boys would dance with me and I left feeling so rejected and sad. My dad came to pick me up, and and when I got into the car, I burst out crying. He was quiet almost the whole way home. I'm sure he didn't know what to say right then; I'm sure his heart was breaking for his baby girl. I got home and ran up to my room to change clothes. I walked to the bathroom mirror ready to speak all manner of lies over myself when I heard my daddy's voice from down the stairs. I ran down and he had a song that we both loved, playing in the living room. He asked me to dance with him, and he said that the boys my age could not understand my kind of beauty yet. As we danced, I felt the pain slowly fading away, safe in my fathers arms. This is so much like my walk with the Father. As I feel the rejection of the world and the pain of this life, I remember nothing can separate me from the love of my Abba in heaven. As the world tries to label and speak all manner of lies over me, my Abba says, "They just don't understand your type of beauty yet- You my girl are fearfully are wonderfully made." As I feel like a stranger wandering in unfamiliar land, Abba looses a spirit of adoption over my soul. I long to be in your presence Abba... I don't even know what I will do. I will probably just lay in silence unable to speak yet filled with every praise imaginable. Maybe I will cry or dance or just fall before you. Thank you for never giving up on me even when I had run from you. Thank you for loving me in my failing. Thank you that through the blood of Messiah that I have the right to be called your child. Thank you for being my Abba. Side Note- Thank you to my daddy for the dances, the love, and the unfailing goodness. I'm so glad Abba chose you to be my dad. Love, Me 2 Corinthians 12:5-10 Of such an one will I glory: yet of myself I will not glory, but in mine infirmities. For though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool; for I will say the truth: but now I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth me to be, or that he heareth of me. And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
So, If we are being honest, from a human perspective, this sounds an impossibility. As most of you know, I've been having set backs the past week with the chronic health issues I battle with. Quite honestly, it has been tough; physically, mentally, and spiritually. I read this passage and it so convicts my heart. I wonder If he had bad days where he questioned everything; even The Most High's love for him. I wonder If he always maintained pleasure in his infirmities. I want to ask him, did you ever feel like giving up? The walk of faith that we venture out on as believers in Messiah is one filled with joys, gladness, mercies, love, and glory, but it is also a walk of trials, persecutions, warfare, and surrender. It seems this part of the journey is often skated over by popular preachers today. They sell millions of books suggesting to vulnerable fleshly people that if they let this Jesus guy into their lives that they will get everything they desire. You can attract to yourself health, wealth, love, power, happiness, and possessions. This is the Chistianese version of the occultic law of attraction practices and needless to say, totally unbiblical. Still, the lusts of the flesh and the lusts of the eyes draws us to these doctrines of demons. It is much less popular to tell people that if you die to yourself, receive Yeshua as Messiah, and then pick up your cross and carry it, that things might get difficult. They forget to mention that sanctification and the peeling away of the flesh can be painful. They forget to mention that you may be hated, rejected, and even killed for the Name above every name. It slips their minds to say that the greatest men of the bible went through tremendous loss, warfare, challenge, and even brutal death to serve The Most High and claim the name of Yeshua. They forget to say that spiritual warfare will occur; they do not equip the saints for battle. I suppose If someone had told me at the beginning of this ministry journey that the front lines of battle is where you are most visible to the enemy, the fleshy heart in me may have turned around. Then, I look at the chapter again... and again...and again. The scripture repeatedly states that when we are weak, then we are strong. It so reminds me that it's no longer about me. This life is fleeting... it is a breath.. a vapor... here today and gone tomorrow. So, I will be glad in the fight, and remember always that I am fighting on the side of victory. May we also remember that we serve the One who is above it all. The Most High of Isaac, Abraham, and Jacob, He who was and is and is to come, the everlasting to everlasting, the alpha and omega, the great I AM. He has given us the authority in the name of Yeshua Messiah to hike on serpents and to cast out demons. As dark as some days may feel, this is still the truth. The word never ever fails. I will be fasting, praying, repenting, petitioning, and most importantly, I will not give up. The enemy will not make me bow, or deny my Abba, or lose sight of His love. Isn't is amazing how infirmity, trial, and tribulation squeeze out the parts of us that still need to be nailed to that old rugged cross. Thank you all so much for your prayers and intercession. Love you, Lea Psalm 118:17 "I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD." Welcome to my blog! Okay, so I've developed a slight obsession with fermented foods. As many of you know I am battling chronic illness and fermented foods have become a weapon of my warfare. Learning more and more about food as The Most High intended has given me a passion inside not only to apply that in our lives but to share it with anyone who will listen. The Father is Healer. He Reigns. He loves me and I will continue to seek healing through prayer, deliverance, and Godly wisdom (back to the food thing). I know that I know that I know that by His stripes I am healed.
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November 2020
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