When I am Weak...

2 Corinthians 12:5-10 Of such an one will I glory: yet of myself I will not glory, but in mine infirmities. For though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool; for I will say the truth: but now I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth me to be, or that he heareth of me. And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

So, If we are being honest, from a human perspective, this sounds an impossibility. As most of you know, I've been having set backs the past week with the chronic health issues I battle with. Quite honestly, it has been tough;  physically, mentally, and spiritually. I read this passage and it so convicts my heart. I wonder If he had bad days where he questioned everything; even The Most High's love for him. I wonder If he always maintained pleasure in his infirmities. I want to ask him, did you ever feel like giving up? 
The walk of faith that we venture out on as believers in Messiah is one filled with joys, gladness, mercies, love, and glory, but it is also a walk of trials, persecutions, warfare, and surrender. It seems this part of the journey is often skated over by popular preachers today. They sell millions of books suggesting to vulnerable fleshly people that if they let this Jesus guy into their lives that they will get everything they desire. You can attract to yourself health, wealth, love, power, happiness, and possessions. This is the Chistianese version of the occultic law of attraction practices and needless to say, totally unbiblical. Still, the lusts of the flesh and the lusts of the eyes draws us to these doctrines of demons. It is much less popular to tell people that if you die to yourself, receive Yeshua as Messiah, and then pick up your cross and carry it, that things might get difficult. They forget to mention that sanctification and the peeling away of the flesh can be painful. They forget to mention that you may be hated, rejected, and even killed for the Name above every name. It slips their minds to say that the greatest men of the bible went through tremendous loss, warfare, challenge, and even brutal death to serve The Most High and claim the name of Yeshua. They forget to say that spiritual warfare will occur; they do not equip the saints for battle. 
I suppose If someone had told me at the beginning of this ministry journey that the front lines of battle is where you are most visible to the enemy, the fleshy heart in me may have turned around. Then, I look at the chapter again... and again...and again. The scripture repeatedly states that when we are weak, then we are strong. It so reminds me that it's no longer about me. This life is fleeting... it is a breath.. a vapor... here today and gone tomorrow. So, I will be glad in the fight, and remember always that I am fighting on the side of victory. May we also remember that we serve the One who is above it all. The Most High of Isaac, Abraham, and Jacob, He who was and is and is to come, the everlasting to everlasting, the alpha and omega, the great I AM. He has given us the authority in the name of Yeshua Messiah to hike on serpents and to cast out demons. As dark as some days may feel, this is still the truth. The word never ever fails. 
I will be fasting, praying, repenting, petitioning, and most importantly, I will not give up. The enemy will not make me bow, or deny my Abba, or lose sight of His love. Isn't is amazing how infirmity, trial, and tribulation squeeze out the parts of us that still need to be nailed to that old rugged cross. 
Thank you all so much for your prayers and intercession. Love you, Lea
Psalm 118:17 "I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD."